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How NOT to be an idiot… and more…

Here’s your new strategy for life…

The next time someone cuts you off, before the window rolls down and the bird starts flying, calm yourself, and think, “Thank you, sir, for the free driving tutorial on how NOT to change lanes…”

The next time someone insults you, before you Facebook de-friend them, and “#imsooverthis” on Twitter, like “OMG” and tell all your friends how much you hate people that tell their friends how much they hate other people… Breathe, and consider it a lesson in humanity: How NOT to be in all social situations.

The next time you’re at the store and all the unhealthiest stuff on the planet looks five times more amazing than usual, and NO amount of fruit, veggie, lean protein combo you can imagine can possibly overcome the sweet toothed menace that’s about to ravage Ralph’s supermarket… When the candy at the checkout stand is buy one get ten free… When the glutinous devil on your shoulder keeps whispering, “F*$% broccoli!.. Sour, gummy worms are WAY more nutritious!”… meanwhile, your healthy angel is NO WHERE to be found… Hang on… Be strong… Take this moment as a lesson in will-power. Thank you temptation for showing me my STRENGTH!

There are lessons in everything. Be positive. Allow the darkest times to teach you the importance of light.


Yours in health, happiness, and turning that middle finger into a thumbs up,

Verity Somers

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